Since graduating last year I’ve slowly been diving deeper into depression concerning what I want and need to do next while also keeping up with the bills. It’s hard some days, because I feel like I’ll stay in this dump for the rest of my days. But I am trying to keep my spirits high and remember that I have to take it one day at a time. This debate that I am having within is a direct reflection of all the changes going on in my life.
A short poem by me:
A heavy heart, but a racing mind.
Creates a chaos that spreads if not contained and maintained.
Friends and family and even strangers show support and give advice.
A fight with ones self to figure out whats next.
I won’t lose this battle, but scratches will ensue no doubt.
With spring on the way, my hopes are high.
Thank you to all who are there for me, I’ll push through not just for me but for you too.
Don’t worry everyone, I still smile at work. In the first blog or two I wrote, I let it be known I work at Starbucks (corporate store). Well it’s not my first (and most likely not my last) retail job. It all began my senior year of high school, when I worked two weeks, part-time for the Puyallup Fair in September (now known as the Washington State Fair). It was pretty fun for the most part; I worked two game booths. But there was one day that made me dislike working retail jobs to this day, a customer at my game booth made me cry. He kept yelling at me when I wasn’t sure of how to fix his problem while his wife and kids looked on, angry as well. I had accidentally taken tickets off his card (weird I know, their system for tickets is electronic and caused chaos). Yup, that was my first taste of the bitter life coffee. Since then I’ve worked several other jobs involving working directly with customers. Some really exciting and not so stressing (firework stand during the summer) to others that make me cry just thinking about how hateful a customer (human) can be towards the person serving them (another human).
I bring up this topic because I’ve become burnt out with my retail jobs, I don’t mind it most of the time, but there are days where I just want to walk out. Also, I’ve had people ask, “Why don’t you have a job in your field yet?,” well if I could get one that would be great. Over the last year, since graduating, I’ve applied to several jobs and internships within my field, but the closest I have come is almost getting an internship at the Oregon Coast Aquarium, but I didn’t qualify after a remarkably great interview due to lack of experience…Let that sink in. I didn’t get an internship which is supposed to educate you and give you experience, because I didn’t have enough experience. It’s just a sad world out there if you need experience for an internship. Well and I’ve applied to several pet shops and still denied; maybe over-qualified? I’m still pushing though.
Here is to all the hard working retail workers out there! Have a great Monday everyone and enjoy some time to yourself!
“People who love to eat are always the best people,” -Julia Child
I love food. Growing up I tried all sorts of odd dishes, well at least to children and that of others who didn’t grow up in a Native Alaskan or Native American household. From seal oil to muktuk (frozen whale skin and blubber) which is very good, but chewy. But I was also weird in that I wasn’t a very picky eater, though I didn’t care much for spicy food, and I loved ‘weird’ food like purple ketchup and mixed most of my food. Cooking was also fun and I enjoyed helping when allowed. Back then I also had a weight issues and part of it stemmed from eating too much bad food which gave me a complex. This complex wasn’t bad, I knew I was gaining weight because I was eating too much. This lead me not to eating disorders, but to watch what I ate. I slowly replaced milk, juices, and soda for water, less red meat, reduced sugar intake overall, and tried to stay away from fast food when possible. Now it wasn’t easy since most of my family, along with extended family, eat a lot and I was surrounded by sweets and soda, but I think I’ve come out of it a whole lot better than most children who deal with obesity that stems from a family’s bad eating habits.
I would push and still push my family and friends to choose better options, but I don’t force them to do anything. I know what’s good for myself and can only give advice on ideas on better eating habits. At this point in my life I have taken red meats, most other meats ( though I wouldn’t pass up fresh game animals or traditional foods), most dairy, sweets, and most alcoholic beverages. I’ve done so by figuring out what my body processes badly (most cow dairy and all red meats) and items I needed to cut back on (alcohol and sweets). Overall I am happy and feeling better about what I eat, but there are times where I do indulge which everyone should do now and again if wanted. My boyfriend, glass, has helped me with my eating journey and is carving his ow , both in our own ways. I prefer cooking homemade meals from scratch and with random ingredients on our shelves. The best part is that he enjoys 9/10 meals I make; there has only been one or two meals off the top of my head he hasn’t liked. Glass has also bragged about my cooking to his online friends which makes me just a little happy (ok it makes me feel awesome!). From homemade pizza, curry as spicy as I can stand plus a little extra, breads, awesome pasta sauce kicked up a notch with veggies and spices, I cook my hearts content. Maybe paired with some wine 😉 but always with love. 💖 I’ve even gotten glass to enjoy his veggies, which makes me feel like on top of the world.
If anyone would like to swap recipes that would be kick ass! Just comment or message me! Share ideas and enjoy a meal!
Have a great night! Now go enjoy your favorite food and eat it!
Many people have goals they wish to accomplish, but they get side-tracked or their passion dies off. I’m through with letting life or myself, get in the way of my happiness. Thanks to my wonderful and supportive boyfriend, glassofwater, I am jumping onboard the blog express to finally start doing what I want to do: share my passions and knowledge with everyone and remind myself what I am capable of doing.
My goal is to upload a new post weekly, I’ll start with Mondays for now till my schedule changes within the next couple weeks.
It’s snowing this morning; not terribly excited since I have to drive to work in about an hour. People here in Alaska have been driving in the snow as if they had never seen it before. Till I have to get ready for work, I’ll just sit here and type as I sip my Casi Cielo blend coffee with a splash of almond syrup.
The snow is really coming down. I just hope I can make it out of my neighborhood and safely get to work. I don’t have the funds to get a cab. I love Alaska’s winters, just not when I work across town with bad roads and terrible drivers who think that because they have snow tires and four-wheel drive they can go faster and not get into wrecks.
Either way wish me luck!