Monday Madness

Good afternoon everyone! The last week has been crazy with today topping it off at work. I’m finally getting over my head and chest cold and feeling better. Though I did have a break down on Saturday night after missing a dose of my medication, but I missed it due to spending the night with my cousin. We drank homemade margaritas and had a great girls night.

I got a new job at a local preschool as an assistant teacher!!! I start February 5th and I’m really excited. But I do feel guilty about stepping down from my PIC position at Fred Meyers, because I feel like I’m letting my manager down. At the same time I know I shouldn’t feel like that, because it’s my life and a step in the direction of where I’d like to see myself one day as a career.

Also I’ve created and have business cards and flyers for my beaded earrings! It’s a step in the right direction. So I’ll post a picture of both once they come in.

Well I have to get back to work!

Love you all! ūüėė

~Waterbug24~

 

Lazy Day

This year is already flying! My goals for the year are:

1: Do what I want or need to do to make myself happy

With this I am taking days for myself, I even dyed my hair red and it looks great. Applying to jobs that I’d rather be at, like being a teacher assistant for a preschool; btw the kids there are adorable. I’m pushing myself with beading when my body allows it as well as making business cards for it. Also I will be taking a class at my Alum College, APU. Yay for learning!

2: Pay off my debt

This started off with H and R block taxes (I hate them so much) and the IRS. And my boyfriend’s debt is almost gone too. I may or may not apply for another deferment for my student loans, but we shall see.

3: Heal my body and soul

Between my conventional doctors and my new traditional healers, I’m hoping to find myself in a better mental state.

4: Write more letters or post cards

That and write more today bits here!

Today I am recovering from a cold. Been working non stop and today is .y first day off that I don’t have to leave the house. I’ve been coughing and sneezing and hard of hearing due to the congestion. So have a great Tuesday Everyone!

 

~Waterbug24~

2017

My mind keeps jumping from topic to topic and my emotions are the same. This year has been a rollercoaster to say the least. From new meds and a new job to taking an out of state trip with my boyfriend…my brain feels like goop.

I’m happier with myself, because I’ve been taking care of myself mentally and physically. Though the last two months I’ve been terrible with the gym, but oh well. Taking depression meds has helped bring me up to breathe and the RA meds are helping my aching joints. The worst thing though is that I’m not satisfied with myself. I want to be happy without the meds and have a job in which I’m happy with. Sure my current job is giving me manager experience, but I’m being run down already with it. I’ll get through this funk with work…at least my coworkers appreciate me.

The last thing on my mind for this year is children. I so want to be a mother. I’m envious of others who are pregnant or just popping them out (my cousin with her cute little twins). My maternal clock is kicking my behind.

New years is just around the corner. Have a good one! And thank you to everyone for this first year up as Waterbug Blog!

~Waterbug24~

 

Enough is Enough

Here is what I posted to my Facebook account. I’ve been mulling over this topic since it was brought to my attention.

Reading Oil and Water by Mei Mei Evans, a professor at APU. Going back to the Valdez Oil Spill of ‘ 89.. I’ve learned a lot about clean up operations and prevention from my time with the PWSRCAC organization and now finally getting to read this still blows my mind. So much destruction of our oceans in the last 27 years.

My cousin, Adrienne Blatchford, is one of my voices in response to the drilling in the Arctic. I don’t voice my opinions very often, but here I must. We’ve seen what oil can do; not only to the environment and other species, but to humans as well. Birds and mammals died, fishing and eating fish is a fight and tug at my heart and soul because I know what’s in the water (chemically and fish counts), humans lose their way of life and some spiral downward in depression/suicide/drucgs and alcohol due to terrible oul spills like Valdez. It makes me angry to read articles about the administration wanting to open it up and cut national parks and sanctuaries.

Everyone, I don’t say this, because I keep it to myself, but please pray to whatever god/diety/spirit and ask that the plan for drilling the Arctic is shot down. The Dakota access pipeline and the Clean Water Warriors are needed to help this fight. Stay informed and I ask you to read Oil and Water as well as The Spill.

For more information on oil spills and prevention:

http://www.pwsrcac.org

https://response.restoration.noaa.gov/oil-and-chemical-spills/significant-incidents/exxon-valdez-oil-spill

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/11/drilling-arctic-refuge-could-put-north-america-s-largest-caribou-herd-risk

 

Please read up. I can’t stop shaking my head.

 

~Waterbug24~

Holiday madness

Sincey boyfriend and I had our week long trip to Washington state, life has been a blur. Between it finally snowing, doctor visits and long hours at work I haven’t had the will nor energy to really write.

The dark here in Alaska is sometimes unreal. At 5pm it looks to be closer to midnight, especially if it hasn’t snowed. The worst part of the darkness is when you don’t or can’t take the time to get outside or be active. With my depression I have to take at least 1000mg of vitamin D supplements daily to help my body manage through winter or tan (I’d rather not though). On days off I try to take walks in my neighborhood. Winter here is best when it’s snowing! The darkness isn’t as bad and snowmen are possible.

At work I’ve taken on more and only need one technical training night to know how to close the store. Working overtime and proving myself has been stressful, but I am becoming more comfortable in the position. It also helps that I’ll get a nice raise and it’ll look good on my resume. Though I’ve been taking my days off and not staying so late in order to keep my sanity.

My sanity may have to hold off a bit longer, due to Thanksgiving in a few days followed by Black Friday, Christmas, and News Years right after. This year I happily have Thanksgiving off with my boyfriend and I spending it with my Cousin and his family.

My beading is coming along too. I’ve been trying new styles and started selling earrings at my colleges bookstore (I’ve sold one so far). It’s exciting.

Well I hope you all have a great night and Happy Thanksgiving!

~waterbug24~

Winter is here

The last three weeks have turned into a blur. I worked my butt off at work doing overtime, got a small chest cold, took a week long vacation in Washington [state] with my boyfriend, and now back home with a lingering cold. I’ve had my blog in the back of my head, but I was distracted and unfocused. But despite being sick and winter looming here in Alaska [it snowed while we were out of state] both my boyfriend and I are doing well. I even set up a corner for my beading with a table I found at Goodwill last night!

The vacation was much needed, though my boyfriend thought he’d be bored all week. In the end he had a great time and clicked with my family [minus my sister, but that’s a story by itself]. He even danced with my aunt Wanda who doesn’t dance. It was a lovely visit. Though I wish more of my family members could have stopped by to say hi. I carved several pumpkins and roasted the seeds next to a warm fire pit outside. The one person who I really wanted to see ended up being too busy and I was getting sick again , so we’ll have to try again next time.

Beading!

My corner of peace,

Next to the window and in front of the fire,

Beads aligned with needles near by,

Every color imaginable plus more.

Fresh needles and thread and a place for finished earrings,

My spot draws me in and I am happy to bead again.

 

I’m so excited to have my corner! I’ve been wanting to create one for awhile now. As well as beading, I am wanting to write more letters, so I have the supplies in the corner as well. Life is well.

 

~Waterbug24~

Moving Forward

“Smooth seas never made skilled sailors.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt ¬†

The quote of the day (which I need to make sure I keep doing, sorry!) is one of my favorites that I think of often especially the last couple months. ¬†People may say, “Oh wouldn’t a nice day bring about experience too?!”, or “Not true! I’m still on the struggle bus!”. I see both types of people in my life, but what they fail to see a storm may be coming or their storm will pass. I’ve gotten to that point where I listen to my friends, from both sides, and don’t speak about my issues or don’t give advice, because neither listens to me nor helps me when I need it most. That is life, and why I don’t feel bad when I need to let people go or change the friendship to have more space.


I’ve written many times about my health, but in the mess I forgot to say that my doctors gave me the wrong¬†diagnoses about Lupus. It happens though and many symptoms of Lupus are shared with other autoimmune disorders. After I changed specialists, we sat down and talked for an hour about me and my health. We started at my childhood issues and pains to now. What she figures (since I can not test for it at my age) is that I had¬†juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA), which could have lead to my aggressive eye issues. The medication I was on when I first had eye issues were the same I would have been put on for JRA, but she figures the issues were too aggressive for them. After talking about my list of issues and locations of pain, she concluded that I have¬†fibromyalgia. We talked about the symptoms and the connections through my life, it finally made sense!

I do wonder if the doctors could’ve re-tested me for JRA (they did at first, but it came up negative) after my symptoms and medication wasn’t working, if they could’ve saved my eye, or if it was meant to be…


My financial troubles will go away and come back I know, but it does take a toll on my health worrying so much about bills. I wish my boyfriend would just get that magical call back that he got the job, but its hard finding stable work in Alaska that you can enjoy.

Good news though, I am being trained to be an assistant manager at work and today I am being given the chance to run the show (even if just for a little bit). I’m nervous, but excited at the same time, because this is the first job to follow through after they said they wanted to make me a manager. This is the one position and experience I need on my resume to show future jobs that I can handle it.

I’m gonna finish off here today, because I need to eat something to take with my meds as well as prepare for the day!

~Waterbug24~