Enough is Enough

Here is what I posted to my Facebook account. I’ve been mulling over this topic since it was brought to my attention.

Reading Oil and Water by Mei Mei Evans, a professor at APU. Going back to the Valdez Oil Spill of ‘ 89.. I’ve learned a lot about clean up operations and prevention from my time with the PWSRCAC organization and now finally getting to read this still blows my mind. So much destruction of our oceans in the last 27 years.

My cousin, Adrienne Blatchford, is one of my voices in response to the drilling in the Arctic. I don’t voice my opinions very often, but here I must. We’ve seen what oil can do; not only to the environment and other species, but to humans as well. Birds and mammals died, fishing and eating fish is a fight and tug at my heart and soul because I know what’s in the water (chemically and fish counts), humans lose their way of life and some spiral downward in depression/suicide/drucgs and alcohol due to terrible oul spills like Valdez. It makes me angry to read articles about the administration wanting to open it up and cut national parks and sanctuaries.

Everyone, I don’t say this, because I keep it to myself, but please pray to whatever god/diety/spirit and ask that the plan for drilling the Arctic is shot down. The Dakota access pipeline and the Clean Water Warriors are needed to help this fight. Stay informed and I ask you to read Oil and Water as well as The Spill.

For more information on oil spills and prevention:

http://www.pwsrcac.org

https://response.restoration.noaa.gov/oil-and-chemical-spills/significant-incidents/exxon-valdez-oil-spill

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/11/drilling-arctic-refuge-could-put-north-america-s-largest-caribou-herd-risk

 

Please read up. I can’t stop shaking my head.

 

~Waterbug24~

Holiday madness

Sincey boyfriend and I had our week long trip to Washington state, life has been a blur. Between it finally snowing, doctor visits and long hours at work I haven’t had the will nor energy to really write.

The dark here in Alaska is sometimes unreal. At 5pm it looks to be closer to midnight, especially if it hasn’t snowed. The worst part of the darkness is when you don’t or can’t take the time to get outside or be active. With my depression I have to take at least 1000mg of vitamin D supplements daily to help my body manage through winter or tan (I’d rather not though). On days off I try to take walks in my neighborhood. Winter here is best when it’s snowing! The darkness isn’t as bad and snowmen are possible.

At work I’ve taken on more and only need one technical training night to know how to close the store. Working overtime and proving myself has been stressful, but I am becoming more comfortable in the position. It also helps that I’ll get a nice raise and it’ll look good on my resume. Though I’ve been taking my days off and not staying so late in order to keep my sanity.

My sanity may have to hold off a bit longer, due to Thanksgiving in a few days followed by Black Friday, Christmas, and News Years right after. This year I happily have Thanksgiving off with my boyfriend and I spending it with my Cousin and his family.

My beading is coming along too. I’ve been trying new styles and started selling earrings at my colleges bookstore (I’ve sold one so far). It’s exciting.

Well I hope you all have a great night and Happy Thanksgiving!

~waterbug24~

Winter is here

The last three weeks have turned into a blur. I worked my butt off at work doing overtime, got a small chest cold, took a week long vacation in Washington [state] with my boyfriend, and now back home with a lingering cold. I’ve had my blog in the back of my head, but I was distracted and unfocused. But despite being sick and winter looming here in Alaska [it snowed while we were out of state] both my boyfriend and I are doing well. I even set up a corner for my beading with a table I found at Goodwill last night!

The vacation was much needed, though my boyfriend thought he’d be bored all week. In the end he had a great time and clicked with my family [minus my sister, but that’s a story by itself]. He even danced with my aunt Wanda who doesn’t dance. It was a lovely visit. Though I wish more of my family members could have stopped by to say hi. I carved several pumpkins and roasted the seeds next to a warm fire pit outside. The one person who I really wanted to see ended up being too busy and I was getting sick again , so we’ll have to try again next time.

Beading!

My corner of peace,

Next to the window and in front of the fire,

Beads aligned with needles near by,

Every color imaginable plus more.

Fresh needles and thread and a place for finished earrings,

My spot draws me in and I am happy to bead again.

 

I’m so excited to have my corner! I’ve been wanting to create one for awhile now. As well as beading, I am wanting to write more letters, so I have the supplies in the corner as well. Life is well.

 

~Waterbug24~

Moving Forward

“Smooth seas never made skilled sailors.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt  

The quote of the day (which I need to make sure I keep doing, sorry!) is one of my favorites that I think of often especially the last couple months.  People may say, “Oh wouldn’t a nice day bring about experience too?!”, or “Not true! I’m still on the struggle bus!”. I see both types of people in my life, but what they fail to see a storm may be coming or their storm will pass. I’ve gotten to that point where I listen to my friends, from both sides, and don’t speak about my issues or don’t give advice, because neither listens to me nor helps me when I need it most. That is life, and why I don’t feel bad when I need to let people go or change the friendship to have more space.


I’ve written many times about my health, but in the mess I forgot to say that my doctors gave me the wrong diagnoses about Lupus. It happens though and many symptoms of Lupus are shared with other autoimmune disorders. After I changed specialists, we sat down and talked for an hour about me and my health. We started at my childhood issues and pains to now. What she figures (since I can not test for it at my age) is that I had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA), which could have lead to my aggressive eye issues. The medication I was on when I first had eye issues were the same I would have been put on for JRA, but she figures the issues were too aggressive for them. After talking about my list of issues and locations of pain, she concluded that I have fibromyalgia. We talked about the symptoms and the connections through my life, it finally made sense!

I do wonder if the doctors could’ve re-tested me for JRA (they did at first, but it came up negative) after my symptoms and medication wasn’t working, if they could’ve saved my eye, or if it was meant to be…


My financial troubles will go away and come back I know, but it does take a toll on my health worrying so much about bills. I wish my boyfriend would just get that magical call back that he got the job, but its hard finding stable work in Alaska that you can enjoy.

Good news though, I am being trained to be an assistant manager at work and today I am being given the chance to run the show (even if just for a little bit). I’m nervous, but excited at the same time, because this is the first job to follow through after they said they wanted to make me a manager. This is the one position and experience I need on my resume to show future jobs that I can handle it.

I’m gonna finish off here today, because I need to eat something to take with my meds as well as prepare for the day!

~Waterbug24~

A Good Day

Since last Monday be I’ve had a few really bad days, where my whole body hurts and swollen joints, but a few good ones have slipped in. The worst is when my hands are sore and swollen, makes it hard to do what needs to be done as well as do what I would like to do (beading). Though today was one of my good days. After work I had enough energy to walk more rather than sit and wait. The weather helped too; not too hot and not a lot of pollen.

One a sad, but happy ending my coffee pot died on me on Sunday morning 😧 but I was able to buy a new one plus a coffee grinder for the price of one 😄. It’s a red Black and Decker 12 cup; I go between Black & Decker and Mr.Coffee for my at home coffee needs. Much love for those two brands.

Also with my extra energy today I made homemade Mac and Cheese with salad. The cheese sauce was made with whole milk, a spoonful of flour, a slice of butter, about 2 cups pre-shredded sharp cheddar, a couple vigorous shakes of black pepper, and a dash of salt. I also added a mixture of meatless sausage, one chopped carrot, two green onions, two cloves of garlic, one sarano pepper, three white mushrooms, and one can of white whole kernal corn. After layering my noodles, mixture and sauce I baked for ten minutes with a sprinkle of the cheddar on top. So good! I love baking the Mac and Cheese for 5-10 minutes to melt everything together. To top it off I got Ben and Jerry’s ice cream 💜

Well I’m getting tired. I hope you all have a great week!

~Waterbug23~

 

Reflection: A ripple on the water

Everyone and everything that shows up in our life is a reflection of something that is happening inside of us.” –Alan Cohen

Since graduating last year I’ve slowly been diving deeper into depression concerning what I want and need to do next while also keeping up with the bills. It’s hard some days, because I feel like I’ll stay in this dump for the rest of my days. But I am trying to keep my spirits high and remember that I have to take it one day at a time. This debate that I am having within is a direct reflection of all the changes going on in my life.

A short poem by me:

A heavy heart, but a racing mind.

Creates a chaos that spreads if not contained and maintained.

Friends and family and even strangers show support and give advice.

A fight with ones self to figure out whats next.

I won’t lose this battle, but scratches will ensue no doubt.

With spring on the way, my hopes are high.

Thank you to all who are there for me, I’ll push through not just for me but for you too.

 

~Waterbug23~

 

Retail Jobs

 

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(Image: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/the-most-soul-crushing-things-about-working-retail?utm_term=.qkmpXwBb2#.jmavJPBMD)

 

Don’t worry everyone, I still smile at work. In the first blog or two I wrote, I let it be known I work at Starbucks (corporate store). Well it’s not my first (and most likely not my last) retail job. It all began my senior year of high school, when I worked two weeks, part-time for the Puyallup Fair in September (now known as the Washington State Fair). It was pretty fun for the most part; I worked two game booths. But there was one day that made me dislike working retail jobs to this day, a customer at my game booth made me cry. He kept yelling at me when I wasn’t sure of how to fix his problem while his wife and kids looked on, angry as well. I had accidentally taken tickets off his card (weird I know, their system for tickets is electronic and caused chaos). Yup, that was my first taste of the bitter life coffee. Since then I’ve worked several other jobs involving working directly with customers. Some really exciting and not so stressing (firework stand during the summer) to others that make me cry just thinking about how hateful a customer (human) can be towards the person serving them (another human).

I bring up this topic because I’ve become burnt out with my retail jobs, I don’t mind it most of the time, but there are days where I just want to walk out. Also, I’ve had people ask, “Why don’t you have a job in your field yet?,” well if I could get one that would be great. Over the last year, since graduating, I’ve applied to several jobs and internships within my field, but the closest I have come is almost getting an internship at the Oregon Coast Aquarium, but I didn’t qualify after a remarkably great interview due to lack of experience…Let that sink in. I didn’t get an internship which is supposed to educate you and give you experience, because I didn’t have enough experience. It’s just a sad world out there if you need experience for an internship. Well and I’ve applied to several pet shops and still denied; maybe over-qualified? I’m still pushing though.

Here is to all the hard working retail workers out there! Have a great Monday everyone and enjoy some time to yourself!

~Waterbug23~